Wish Upon A Star
by lolly pop3
Summary: It has been a year since Titanic sank and Rose still has dreams of her time on it with Jack. Rose now has Jack's child- Josephine but is finding it hard to cope when money runs out R
1. Rose's Wish

Wish Upon A Star  
  
Chapter 1~ Rose's Wish  
  
14th April 1913  
  
"Hello Jack. They said you were up here."  
  
"Shh," Jack turned around to beam at the young women that had just come up behind him. "Give me your hand." She came forward and took his hand, so firm yet so gentle- artist's hands. "Now close your eyes- go on. Step up onto the railing. Ok, do you trust me?" he asked softly.  
  
"I trust you," she replied.  
  
"Open your eyes!"  
  
"I'm flying! Jack!" she gasped.  
  
Jack and Rose were standing at the bow of a ship on the railing their arms stretched out wide- flying.  
  
"Come Josephine in my flying machine going up she goes, up she goes," jack sang softly in Rose's ear.  
  
Then they both turned to face each other and sunk deep into a passionate kiss. Their first kiss- everything was so perfect.  
  
"Come Josephine in my flying machine, going up she goes, up she goes," Rose lay mumbling to herself as she watched the stars over head. She saw a shooting star fly past and wished silently for this to come to an end and her and Jack could be together just as she had planned.  
  
Then she heard a voice shouting out over the still ocean. "Is there anyone alive out there? Can anybody here me?" A boat! A boat had come back for them!  
  
"Jack! Jack!" Rose called helplessly. She was lying on a board in the middle of the ocean with dead bodies floating all around her. Jack was by her head, his body in the water keeping afloat by holding onto the board she was lying on. "There's a boat Jack! Jack," she shook his hand trying to bring him round. "There's a boat!" but Rose could do nothing to help the frozen Jack who had slipped away in her arms. As the life boat looking for survivors drew nearer she had to make a decision. Stay here and die with Jack, or live and go on- just like she had promised. "Come back! Come back!" she called out to the boat. But her voice was to weak. Then she noticed a man floating in the water near by, a whistle between his frozen lips.  
  
She broke Jack's gripe from her frozen hand before letting him sink along with the rest of her heart to the bottom of the ocean.  
  
~*~  
  
Rose woke with a start. She sat bolt up right in her bed a cold sweat trickling down her forehead, her whole body trembling. Not that dream again! The dame one- happy and then sad. Dark and depressingly sad.  
  
She slowly got out of bed slipped on her dressing gown and slippers then made her way to the kitchen of her small apartment. Tears were running silently down her cheeks as she poured herself a cup of coffee. She didn't feel like going to work at all. Waitressing was so dull. She had permanently been put of all apple pies and ham sandwiches.  
  
She dried her eyes and herself together. Sipping her coffee she caught sight of the calendar pined to the wall. It had been a tear. A year today since she had lost her heart in the depths of the ocean.  
  
She tore her eyes away from the calendar and made her way into the living room. She flopped down on the settee. Even though she had been sleeping all night, she still felt shattered. Though she didn't really sleep now days, she just lightly dozed. She found herself unable to sink into a deep sleep, a peaceful sleep. She always found herself dreaming of that terrible night last year.  
  
She glanced at her coffee table. On it stood a picture frame with a single latter 'J' written on a piece of paper inside. Rose often liked to sit and talk to it when she needed comforting. He always knew how to make her feel better.  
  
"Oh Jack. I miss you so much I can hardly bare it anymore," she whispered. "I know this sounds stupid, and you'll probably agree too, but sometimes Jack, I think I can feel you. Not feel you as in around me, but at the back of my mind and in my heart of hearts. I have often wondered, I mean I think- Jack I don't think you were dead when I let you go. Though I kept my promise. I went on and had a baby and I'm watching her grow. Jack, the baby is ours. She is the only thing I have of you. But I'm going to grow old and when my time comes- we'll be together again." More tears flowed down her cheeks. Her fiery red hair hung limp on her head and her emerald green eyes had lost most of their spark that Jack had loved so. But it hadn't gone out completely just yet. "Every time I look at our baby Jack, I see you in her. She has my hair, faint red wisps of it are starting to come through, but she has your eyes. Your deep blue eyes that were as mysterious as the ocean itself."  
  
A baby's soft cries could be heard from the small room next to Rose's. she sighed then stood up and made her way into her baby girl's room. She gently picked her baby up out of her crib and rocked her back and forth.  
  
"There, there my little star, shh," she said soothingly then she began the song she always sung to calm her baby. "Come Josephine in my flying machine, going up she goes, up she goes." The baby's cries subsided and she gazed curiously at her mother before her eyelids dropped and she drifted back gently into the land of nod. Rose laid her down once more in her crib and learned over her planting a small kiss on her forehead. "Sleep my little Josephine, sleep," she said.  
  
Rose hummed the song to herself and found herself spreading her arms out. She could feel gentle hands in hers and the soft voice singing down her ear. She closed her eyes and she was there again. Then, when she finally came back to herself, she broke into silent tears. A day dream- just a day dream. It could never be real again.  
  
She would soon have to move on. Jack Dawson was gone and he was never coming back no matter how much she wished it so. She stood for a moment in her cold Santa Monica apartment as if lost. She came back to herself and left the room. Sometimes she found even looking at Josephine to painful.  
  
Rose went back to her room and slipped on her greasy waitress uniform and scowled at herself in the mirror. She looked terrible! Her hair was lank and her skin pasty. Oh what she wouldn't give to not have to go to work today!  
  
She could take the day off and say that she had no baby sitter to look after her baby, that would be a good excuse and one she hadn't used to often. Though she was short of money and was desperate, she couldn't face work today- not on the anniversary of Jack's death.  
  
Rose took off her uniform and put on a green dress that she had brought with the money she had found in her fiancée Caladon Hockley's coat. She had used this money to rent the apartment and provide for her baby up until now. The money was gone forcing Rose to go out and find a job. The state she was in now, you wouldn't think that she had used to be highly respected first class women who never had to worry about small things like money.  
  
She smiled coldly to herself just thinking about what her mother and Cal would ever say if they could see her now. An unmarried single mother living in a run down part of town struggling for money.  
  
She stood in front of the mirror and picked up her hair brush, dragging it through her curls she smiled to herself. Then she picked up her lipstick and carefully put it on. Next was a small amount of powder on her cheeks. Then she stood up and looked at the finished product.  
  
She looked exactly how she had used to do. She made her way into Josephine's room and picked the sleepy baby up gently. She placed her in the pram she had brought using Cal's money and smiled to herself.  
  
~*~  
  
It was a splendid day for a walk down by the pier. Rose sat down on a bench; the pram parked next to her with her baby in it and just sat and lapped up the sounds of the ocean crashing on the shore.  
  
This was the pier that Jack had talked about where he used to do portraits for ten cent a piece. Rose looked out at the people walking past. Almost directly opposite her she saw a sign saying 'Portraits- 10¢'. Behind it sat a man, his back turned to her looking out over the ocean, sketch pad perched on his lap drawing, occasionally looking up to look out at the ocean. What he was drawing, she did not know.  
  
Her heart leapt for a moment. This man had the same blondish hair as Jack had had. He looked to be of working class judging by his clothes. But he was not Jack Rose reasoned with herself because he was dead and hat was impossible that he was here. With that she got up and pushed her pram back home, enough fresh air for today.  
  
A/N There, the first chapter of my first Titanic fic! I love that movie but I think the end is so sad! Thanks to With In A Dream for encouraging me to put this up as I had some of this written out but kind of forgot about it as I wrote it when I first discovered ff.net. I promise this is going somewhere and I have it all planned out. If any of it ends up not making sense, well then I promise it will by the end, oh yeah, the end should be a little sad- hopefully a little unexpected!!!  
  
Thank you all if you've read this far and could you pretty please with sugar on top review!!!! 


	2. The Second Hardest Goodbye

A/N Ok, this chapter takes place two years after the first and this chapter is very sad, but don't worry! Things will get a lot happier later on so please keep reading!  
  
princess_diva06 ~ Thanks for reviewing, and here's the update!  
  
With In A Dream ~ It will get happier I promise, but not in this chapter, it just gets sadder! And I'll talk to you later!  
  
Chapter 2 ~ The Second Hardest Goodbye  
  
June 1915  
  
Rose clutched the piece of paper tightly in her hands, tears running down her porcelain face. Josephine, now two old, sat next to her on her bed, not understanding why her mommy was so upset.  
  
The reason was plain. The paper Rose held was an eviction notice. She had a week to get out of the apartment and find a new place to live. She hadn't been able to pay the rent for along time now as she had been fired from her waitressing job as she took to much time off with Josephine now she paid dearly for it. She had been put of a job for three months and was unable to find work.  
  
But as she picked her daughter up and held her close to her chest she realised what she must do and even more tears broke loose.  
  
"Why do you cry mommy?" Josephine asked in her baby voice gazing deep into her mother's eyes which had just about gone out.  
  
"I am sad my dear. But don't you worry," Rose replied softly drying her eyes.  
  
"Why?" said Josephine.  
  
"Because my dear, because," she replied.  
  
Josephine was quiet for a while. After some time Rose spoke again and her voice was filled with emotion as she spoke gently to her daughter. "Jose, you may have to go away for a while." she trailed off as she remembered  
  
*It's only for a little while, they'll be another boat for the daddy's, this one's for the mommy's and children. Now you be a good little girl and hold mommy's hand.*  
  
She blanked that from her mind and concentrated back on her daughter who was staring up at her horrified. "No mommy, no! I don't want to go away!"  
  
"I know you don't want to go away my dear, I don't want you to go either. But sometimes people have to do things, even if they don't like it. It's for a little while, only for a little while. Mommy will come and get you, I promise. It' just, Jose we have to move away from here, and where we'll go I don't know. But I know only one place where you will be safe. My little girl, I wouldn't do this if I didn't have to you know that," Rose hugged Josephine tight and Josephine started to sob.  
  
"I still love you mommy, no matter what," Josephine sobbed.  
  
2I know. But Josephine, there is something very important I have to tell you about- about your daddy," said Rose  
  
"But I don't have a daddy. I just have you," replied Josephine.  
  
"Dear, everyone has a daddy, like everyone has a mommy. Your daddy Josephine, well your daddy is in heaven now."  
  
"Heaven? My daddy is in heaven?" Josephine said unsurely.  
  
"Yes. Your daddy was the most handsome man I had ever seen, and the kindest. He was an artist- some one who can draw beautiful pictures," she added seeing the blank look on Josephine's face. The little girl had never heard her mother talk about her father before now and being only two didn't really understand much. "Oh he was so kind to me, he saved my life to you know. We were on board a big ship and it sank and that's how your daddy went to heaven." Rose explained steering clear of the word died as this was still a delicate subject for her too.  
  
Rose talked for a long time of Josephine's daddy, but did not give him a name. Josephine fell to sleep listening to the sweet music of her mother's voice.  
  
Rose tucked her up tight in her bed and lay next to her not wanting to disturb her by taking her back to her own room. Not tomorrow, but the day after she decided. One last day with her daughter and she was going to make it special.  
  
~*~  
  
Rose woke Josephine up early the next day and dressed her in the best clothes she had for her daughter. She made a special breakfast using what little she had lying around- perfect ingredients for making pancakes, but she ate non herself. Her appetite had left her only to be replaced by despair, though she covered this up for her daughter.  
  
Rose decided that she was going to take Josephine to the pier which she had not been to since that day when Josephine was only a baby. It would be good for her to see the sea with her mother one last time and just spend some quality time together.  
  
They both had a pleasant walk from Rose's apartment down to the pier in the warm day. There was a man selling ice cream down by the pier which Josephine eyed hungrily. Rose saw and felt a stab of guilt. She could not even buy her daughter an ice cream. Yes, it would be best that she go to a home that can provide properly for her.  
  
What Rose was going to do when she had to leave her apartment she did not know. Maybe she could find a place down town, though this was pretty down town, she dreaded to think what the more down town part of this place could be like. That's why she had decided to do what she had to- and give Josephine a better chance at life.  
  
"Mommy, where are we going today? Do I still have to go away for a while?" Josephine asked.  
  
"We are going to the pier today my sweet. Down by the sea," replied Rose.  
  
"But mommy, you said you didn't like the pier, that's why you never took me to it again. Remember mommy? You said you took me there when I was very small but it was a bad place for little girls, but now I'm a big girl, aren't I mommy?" Josephine said proudly.  
  
Rose smiled and nodded. "Yes dear, you are grown up now."  
  
"So if I'm grown up I don't have to go away because I can help look after you too when you are sad and need a big hug. I don't want to leave you all by yourself."  
  
"I wont be by myself for very long, I'll come and get you as soon as I can. Now let's not talk about it any more and enjoy the day- it is a beautiful one after all," Rose said and led her daughter over to sit on the bench that she had sat on when she had first brought her daughter to the pier.  
  
Rose was amazed to see that opposite her was the same sign reading 'Portraits- 10¢'. And there was the man that looked so much like Jack with his back turned to Rose and her daughter facing over the sea drawing yet again. The same blond hair and everything. Rose tried not to look at him and instead turned to her daughter who was gazing out over the ocean.  
  
"Jose, come here," Rose stood up and took her tiny hand and led her over to the railing to gaze out over the ocean, this would distract her from that man.  
  
"It's so big," said Josephine. "And blue. How did it get so big and blue mommy?"  
  
"I don't know," said Rose. Josephine remained silent and went back to staring out over the vast blue thing that was the ocean. Rose sighed and followed suit and soon forgot about the man as she lost herself in the sound of the waves crashing on the shore.  
  
Unbeknown to her the man who was drawing looked up momentarily from what he was doing; his eyes fell on the women at the railing. He recognised her, she looked so much like.. She was dead, he had to snap out of it! She was dead and was never coming back. Besides, this woman had a child with her. But oh how she looked like her! He shook his head sadly and went back to his drawing.  
  
Rose and Josephine spent nearly the whole day walking around the pier. Rose did not see that man again, for which she was thankful. Soon they both made their way back to Rose's apartment as Josephine was now very tired, so Rose carried her most of the way home.  
  
Rose intended to put Josephine to bad once they had got home and she had given her her dinner, they had eaten in the day, but very little. Rose had scrapped her purse and found just enough money to buy Josephine an ice cream, which they had shared between them seen as Josephine couldn't eat one all to herself. She intended to pack Josephine's things and get ready for what she would have to do tomorrow. She knew that the children's home would take her in, she just wanted to foster her child not have her adopted. Maybe someone would be willing to give a little girl a home.  
  
~*~  
  
The next morning came too quickly. Rose had stayed awake al might just watching her daughter sleep peacefully. Today was the day she had promised herself. But now that she came to think about it, she wanted yesterday to play over and over again so that this day would never come. But it had. Rose was deeply regretting her decision. She could change her mind. She could take Josephine with her, she didn't know where but she could. And.and..  
  
And that would just be selfish. She knew that Josephine did not want to leave her, but it was for the best. That's it. She had to keep telling herself that, it's for the best. It's for the best. It's for the best.. but it hurt.  
  
Rose let Josephine wake up in her own time and dressed her in a clean purple dress, one of the best she had brought with Cal's money. Josephine's small suit cases with all of her belongings in it were packed and ready. Rose made breakfast but did not eat any herself. She just sat at the table with her head in her hands while Josephine ate in silence.  
  
"Mommy, I don't have to go. Please don't make me go," Josephine whispered pleadingly.  
  
"Oh Josie, I wish it was that simple my lamb, but it is not fair. We will have no where to live, and the truth is that mommy can't really look after you anymore. You will go to a nice family who will give you anything you want and you will never have to worry about anything again. One day mommy will come back and get you when she's sorted her own life out and is back on her path."  
  
Josephine burst into tears. "I. Don't. Want. To. Leave!" she sobbed.  
  
A tear rolled down Rose's cheek which she tried to conceal. She had to be strong for the both of them. "Oh Jose, don't! Please be a good little girl. Just remember, mommy loves you more than anything and always will. Remember your daddy. He will be very proud if you be a good girl. He is always watching over you. And I'll always be in here," she put her hand on her daughter's heart. Why was she doing this?  
  
~*~  
  
Rose walked down the street, Josephine clutched close to her chest, the small suitcase grasped in her hand. She stood outside the gates of the children's home. This was it. No going back. It's for the best. It's for the best.  
  
Inside was bare and there was quite a cold look about the place. Rose had to fill out some forms stating reasons for giving up her child and so on. She stated that she only wanted her daughter to be fostered as this was only temporary and she would be back to collect her once she had gotten her life in order.  
  
"Mommy, please don't leave me here! Please!" Josephine sobbed.  
  
"I have to. One day you will understand why. Now come and give mommy a big hug." Rose said trying to hold back the tears threatening to fall. Josephine did as she was told. A women who worked there came to take Josephine away, she stood in the background while Rose said her good byes. Rose pulled back from the hug to speak to her daughter, wiping away the tears that had fallen in the process. "Now, I want you to be a good little girl and go with the nice lady ok?" Josephine cried harder. "Be a good little girl and I promise, one day we will be together again and I will never forget about you."  
  
"I-I won't forget either," Josephine sobbed.  
  
Then the lady stepped forward and with a nod from Rose picked a by now screaming Josephine up and began to carry her away. "I love you!" Rose called from down the corridor.  
  
"NO! No mommy no! don't leave me! No!" Josephine beat her small fists on the lady that was carrying her away form her mother.  
  
Rose could hear her screaming as she disappeared around the corner of the corridor. All she wanted to do was run and comfort her. another women came and escorted Rose out of the building with a few reassuring words. "She'll be in good hands miss, she'll be in good hands. Don't worry."  
  
She left Rose outside. She sat down on the steps and held her head in her hands and cried and cried and cried. That was the second hardest goodbye she had ever had make.  
  
A/N *sob sob* Awwwwwww! I hope that that wasn't to sad, though I have to admit, reading it back through i have a lump in my throat!!! So, what's next for Rose? Well if you want to find out stay tuned for the next chapter!! 


	3. Setting Out

A/N Hi all! I'm back, you already for another chapter. you are? GOOD!  
  
With In A Dream: Mwhahahhaha! I know, my last chapter was sooooooo sad, but I'm not quite ready to bring Jack back.. Yet. I think we need some more sadness so that when I get to the happy part (if I ever do!) you will enjoy it even more. Besides, I'm kinda having fun making Rose sad in a twisted kinda way. But you know he'll be back.. One day.  
  
!: Thanks for reviewing. Hmmmmmmm, to make Jack live or to not make Jack live that is the question. But I have to coz I find the original ending to sad so this will turn out all happy and dandy!!!  
  
Punkrocker7178: Glad you like!  
  
Tina_Sparrow: I know it's sad, but it will get happy, Josephine will be back.. But not yet.  
  
Chapter 3 ~ Setting Out  
  
July 1915  
  
"Rose, you've been with us less than a month, and you do this!"  
  
"I'm sorry, it won't happen again."  
  
"You're damn right it won't, because you're fired!"  
  
"Fired! No please Mr Maxwell, I promise I won't-"  
  
"This is not open for debate Miss Dawson. Now out and I never want to see you here again."  
  
"But, what shall I do?"  
  
"I don't care what you do, just get out now!"  
  
Rose walked down the street, tears running down her face. That was it, she was jobless now. She had only just got that job to by the skin of her teeth. Not that she liked it, in fact she hated it. She had fallen into waitressing yet again. This time in a small coffee shop by the sea front. Just because she had taken last week off because she was ill with flew and hadn't been able to come into work her boss had fired her. he said she was too unreliable. What was she going to do now?  
  
She made to go home but changed direction and ended up walking along the pier. She went to the railing and leaned over, gazing down at the big blue. This was the same pot her and Josephine had stood less than a month ago. She wondered whether she had found a home yet, a good loving home. She glanced over to the spot where the guy who did the portraits normally sat drawing or waiting for business. To her surprise he wasn't there. Maybe he had finally found somewhere better to go. How she wished she could do the same.  
  
~*~  
  
"Cathy, are you in?" Rose called as she entered the apartment she shared with her friend she had met at work.  
  
There was no reply. She must be out as it was her day off today. Cathy had been kind enough to offer Rose a place to stay for as long as she needed. She was Rose's best and only friend she had in Santa Monica.  
  
Cathy had been greatly intrigued by Rose and had often asked what a young girl was doing alone with no where to go working as a waitress. Rose had kept everything brief. She had not told her anything about her past, and what she had told her was a lie. She had not told her about Josephine and especially not about her real family and how she had come to be alone. Cathy sensed that she had many demons and did not push her questions.  
  
Rose dropped her handbag down on the table and went into her bedroom to change out of her uniform. She had so hoped that this job would turn out ok. But it hadn't. She spent the rest of her day doing nothing and lounging about the apartment.  
  
Cathy got back later that evening. She had been out with her boyfriend David. Rose had met David on numerous occasions and had to admit he was very nice. But the news Cathy came back with, though Rose had to be happy for her friend, was bad from her perspective.  
  
"Oh Rose, it's wonderful! David proposed!" Cathy announced excitedly.  
  
"Oh Cathy, that's wonderful!" Rose replied, covering up the sadness and jealousy in her voice.  
  
"I know. First he took me out for a candlelit meal at this sweet little restaurant. Then we went for a walk along the pier and as we were gazing up at the stars I said 'aren't they beautiful, I love the stars' and then he held this ring in front of my face and said 'how do you like this star?' and it was so magical you wouldn't believe. He's so sweet. The dinner cost him a week's wages and he's been saving up for months for this ring," she held her hand proudly to show Rose the silver ring with a tiny diamond set in the middle. "Isn't it beautiful?" Cathy said dreamily.  
  
"It is. You are very lucky Cathy. Very lucky." Rose said trying to sound happy.  
  
"Everyone should have someone like David in their life. He is the kindest person I have ever met." Cathy fell back onto the sofa and stared dreamily at her ring. "So how was your day?"  
  
"I got fired," Rose said simply.  
  
Cathy sat up straight her attention drawn to her friend. "Fired? But why?"  
  
"Because of the time I took off last week when I was ill," Rose replied not wanting to talk about it much.  
  
"Oh Rose! Didn't you explain to Mr Maxwell that you were to ill to work?"  
  
"Of course I did. You know him, he never listens. So now I'm out of a job. At least I still have a place to live," Rose sighed.  
  
"Erm Rose, that's another thing. David asked me to move in with him and I said yes. I'm moving out in a week to go live with him. You can keep the apartment if you want it still though," Cathy's dreamy smile had faded and she had a look of genuine apology on her face.  
  
"It's ok. I don't think I'll stay here, I'm out of a job and won't be able to pay rent for a start."  
  
"Well, I could talk to David and ask him whether you could move in with us for a while, until you find your feet. I'm sure he wouldn't mind," Cathy offered.  
  
"I couldn't. I don't want to get in the way of you two. I'd just be a nuisance. I think I'll get out of Santa Monica permanently and start getting my life back together. There's nothing left for me here anymore." Rose replied sadly.  
  
"Are you sure?" Cathy said sadly. "Well, I'll give you me and David's new address, just in case you're ever at a tough spot you know where to come to. And to keep in touch. You are the first real friend I've made here Rose, even though I've only known you like a month!"  
  
Cathy then got up and went to her room. Rose stayed up for a while, contemplating what she was going to do next. Then it hit her. The most obvious thing she could do. She would catch a train and leave this place behind and go to the one place she knew she had a shot at happiness. That would be the beginning of her new life. Then she thought of Josephine. As much as she wanted to, she couldn't take her daughter with her, not until she had sorted out a place to live and held down a job for a while so she was able to provide properly for her daughter.  
  
Her mind was set and nothing could change it.  
  
~*~  
  
She said goodbye to Cathy two days later. Cathy was going to e moving in two days when she had got all of her stuff packed. It was a sad goodbye for the two of them, especially Cathy. Rose had been her best friend if only for a short time.  
  
"Don't forget me ok?" Said Cathy wrapping her arms around Rose.  
  
"I won't, I promise," said Rose hugging her friend back.  
  
"You have my new address right?" Rose nodded. "If you ever need anything you know where I am. And don't forget to right to me ok? I'm going to miss you Rose."  
  
"I'll miss you too," Rose then slung her bag over her shoulder and picked up her small suitcase. Then she turned and sighed. "Good luck with David. You are rally very lucky. Good bye." With that Rose made her way down the steps of the apartment and out onto the street. She then set off in the direction of the train station.  
  
~*~  
  
The train station was packed. But Rose brought her ticket, third class, and went t wait for the train to pull into the station. The platform was full of people with suitcases in hand going about their business. Rose sighed as the train pulled in and everyone started to board.  
  
She made her way to her seat next to a young man with brown hair. He looked up as she sat down. "Hello," he said politely.  
  
Rose smiled. "Hello."  
  
"Name's John, John Connolly," he held out his hand and Rose shook it.  
  
"Rose Dawson," she replied stiffly.  
  
The man nodded and turned to stare out of the window. After a while he spoke again, trying to make conversation no doubt thought Rose.  
  
"So, where're you heading to?"  
  
"Oh, well, I'm not really sure." Rose replied. There was some truth in that, she had no idea where she'd go when she reached her destination.  
  
"Oh right, kind of one of those spar of the moment things right?" Rose nodded. "Me too, I just need to get away from that place."  
  
"Where?" asked Rose.  
  
"Santa Monica, life can be so dull and depressing there. So I'm going to see if I can meet up with an old friend of mine. I thought he'd be in New York but he wasn't. So I came to Santa Monica, he weren't there so now I'm going to the last place I know he'd go."  
  
"Where's that?" asked Rose.  
  
"His home. Chippewa Falls." Jack Connolly replied.  
  
"Oh, well that's actually where I'm heading as a matter of fact," said Rose.  
  
"Hang on a minute, you say your name was Dawson right?" Rose nodded. "You aren't a relation of someone called Jack Dawson are you?"  
  
Rose's heart leapt. Did this man know Jack? "Well, which Jack Dawson are we talking about? I mean there could be a lot of Jack Dawsons," Rose said awkwardly.  
  
"No, there's only one Jack Dawson, he's an artist. Wonderful at drawing he is," replied John.  
  
Rose's heart did a back flip in her chest. Did this man know her Jack? "Well, I-I am," Rose finally blurted out. She knew this was a lie. She had taken on his name that was all that she had done. Besides, he was dead. She would have to tell this man. "I'm, very sorry Mr Connolly, but I'm afraid that-that Jack is, well he's- he is no longer with us." There, she said it. Though she avoided using the word dead or anything like it. She couldn't, it hurt to much.  
  
"Dead? How/ when?"  
  
"I'm so sorry," Rose said. She could feel her eyes welling with tears. John must have saw this because he put a comforting arm around her shoulder.  
  
"So you did know him then? May I ask.how?" said John.  
  
"I, if you will understand, I don't want to talk about it," Rose said straightening up and drying her eyes.  
  
"Yes miss, I understand. Are you Jack's wife or what?"  
  
"I am." Well, she was going to be if it hadn't happened. "How did you know Jack?"  
  
"I used to work with him. On a squid boat in Monte ray. We were quite good friends. Then he came to Santa Monica. Last I heard he went to England. Said he'd be back home though. And I been on the look out for him for some time now. It is a shame to learn of his death indeed. So what are your plans miss?" John said.  
  
"I don't know. I suppose my plan is to go see where Jack grew up. Try to be closer to him I guess," Rose replied.  
  
"Well, if you need anyone to help you through at anytime, I'll be around. Just for a friend right?" John offered.  
  
"Thank you," Rose said. They did not talk very much after that. John got the hint that to think of Jack was too painful so he left her alone.  
  
It was along journey, well it seemed long. John soon nodded off to sleep. But Rose could not sleep for anything. She wondered what she would find out about Jack that she had not learnt about him in her brief time with him. Would she meet people who knew Jack, then she would have to be the one to break the news of his death. But at least she could stay she was his wife who had come looking for an escape and wanted to pick up the pieces of Jack's past. She would not tell anyone about Josephine she decided and would go by the term 'widow of Jack Dawson'.  
  
It was almost dark when the train drew into the station. John had woken up a while before and they got off together. John said that he would pay for a room for her tonight in the local inn as it was too dark and she had little money. Rose thought that this friend of Jack' was as caring as Jack himself and if these were the type of people she would meet here, she felt that her future might just turn out bright.  
  
A/N There you go! Another chapter. Ok, so Rose meets a potentially new friend so will her future turn out as bright as she hopes. But I there one more little thing she has to face, that she did not know.  
  
And I know that these chapters have all been quite sad, but I think next chapter it's time for a little bit of happiness... just a little bit. 


	4. Helping Me To Breathe

A/N Hi everyone. Yep, it's me and I'm back for a new chapter! I know I haven't updated for like eve, but here's the update as I've been busy with my other fic(s).  
  
Reviewers, thank you! I love you all!  
  
Within A Dream ~ Hehehehe, yep, John Connolly was kind of unexpected. Thanks. Talk to you later.  
  
Chapter 4 ~ Helping Me To Breathe  
  
She flopped down on the feather bed and lay back on the duvet gazing up at the ceiling. That kind man she had met on the train, John Connolly, was staying in a room down the hall. He had paid for her room and was very much a gentleman. She liked him. He came from a poor family and had had many jobs. He had travelled with Jack a few times too. Rose was amazed at the similarities between him and Jack. How kind they both were. They both seemed to have come from loving families. Rose only wished she had had the happiness they had had.  
  
Her childhood was much like any other first class girl's. spoilt rotten, every need catered for except the need for love. Her father was always away and had no time for her, he had been a bit of a gambler but it was only after he died that her and her mother discovered this. Rose had been 15 years old then and all ready set to marry Caladon Hockley. In her eyes he was the most repulsive man to ever walk the earth. How could she have ever let herself be pushed into marrying such a man? She smiled to herself coldly. Those where the days she was not permitted to have a choice. But now she could, now Jack had set her free she could so whatever she wanted. It was this thought that carried her off to a deep comfortable sleep.  
  
~*~  
  
She awoke to the sun trying to peep in through her curtains to light the room with its light. She lay on her back facing the ceiling and rubbed her eyes to get the sleep out of them. She found she still had the clothes she had arrived in on. The room was warm, she was warm. She had to think for a moment. She wasn't in Santa Monica anymore.  
  
She could not remember the last time she had slept so well, it seemed a lifetime ago when she was a very small child with no worries weighing down on her shoulders. She stood up and took a big stretch before throwing back the curtains to gaze out into the bright day as the sun warmed glass radiated onto her. her room was over looking a small court yard surrounded by roses, this would look simply magical at night time.  
  
She heard a knock at her door and a soft voice called. "Mrs Dawson, are you up? It's John, John Connolly. When you are ready come down and join me at breakfast?" he offered.  
  
She could not decline and she was feeling rather hungry. "Yes, of course I will, I will be down in a moment." She replied.  
  
"Very well. See you in a moment," she heard his faint footsteps going down the stairs before turning back to gaze down at the court yard. Small birds perched in the old trees scattered about the court yard. Rose smiled to herself and unlatched the window, opening it and letting a warm breeze flood into the room. She listened with her eyes closed to the birds chirping their sweet song before retreating to the bathroom to get washed and dressed.  
  
~*~  
  
She found the best dress she had in her small suitcase. It was a lilac colour. Simple yet beautiful. She slipped it on. It was light and flowed when she walked. She made her way down the creaking wooded stairs down to the breakfast room. She spotted John across the room and made her way over to him. When he spotted her he looked up from his newspaper and placing it aside, stood up to pull out a chair for her.  
  
"Thank you," she said.  
  
"You're welcome Mrs Dawson," John tucked her in before sitting down in his own chair across from her.  
  
"Please Mr Connolly call me Rose." She said softly picked up her coffee to carefully sip.  
  
"Very well Rose, please call me John. I trust we are no longer on formal terms?" He smirked.  
  
Rose put down her coffee. "After the kindness you have shown me I should think not." John looked at her, as if searching her for something. She noticed this and said. "What's the matter?"  
  
"Nothing. Its just, it seems to me that a girl like you don't seem fit for this type of life," he replied awkwardly.  
  
"What do you mean?" Rose said frowning slightly.  
  
"I mean. You are all alone on the train with hardly any money, yet you do not seem like a third class women."  
  
"Well, I can assure you, I am." Rose snapped.  
  
"I don't mean no offence or nothing, but you don't seem like the kind of woman our Jack would, how to put it, be able to go for. He was a poor man of working class, Rose, you seen like a first class women, in your manner."  
  
"Well, I can assure that I never have or ever will be above what I am. And if you mean to refer to the way in which I am dressed if you really must know this dress is a hand me down from a distant cousin who married into a small amount of money," Rose faltered a little. Lying was not her strong point. She could not tell this man the truth. "Now, if you please, can we drop this subject. I am who I am." Another big lie. She wasn't what she was. Her life had been a lie for the past three years.  
  
John held up his hands and leaned back in his chair. "I am terribly sorry Rose, I meant no offence. I was just curious you might say. Please forgive me." John said apologetically.  
  
"It. It's ok. And if you really must know and to put any doubts in your mind at rest, me and Jack married for love. That is all. Status has nothing to do with anything." She spoke sharply. John asked no further questions for which Rose was very thankful.  
  
They ate breakfast in silence. Rose let the happy optimistic voices of those dinning around her wash over her. she dearly wished that she could count herself as one of those happy people. After a while John asked her what she intended to do from here. "I intend to go to where Jack used to live. Pick up the pieces of his past if I can and learn more of him. We were not married for very long. All he told me was that his family was dead. I just wish to go see where he grew up."  
  
"Ah, I see. Well, I can help you out a little, ask around. I myself plan to stay here for a while. Find work and if it proves to be a good place to settle I hope to perhaps raise a family here. Its so different to where I hail from."  
  
"And where's that?" asked Rose.  
  
"Philadelphia," John replied.  
  
Rose's heart flared for a moment. Philadelphia. That was certainly not one of her favourite places in the world. That was where she had grown up. She swallowed and then replied with a simple. "Oh."  
  
"Yeah. I grew up in the bad end. I used to always envy those up the nice end. All them first class. Snotty bunch them were. Treated us like dirt. Trampled on us in all their fancy cars and things." John said with a look of the utmost dislike plastered on his otherwise placid face.  
  
Rose's heart gave another stab. She used to be one of those people. How could she have ever been like that after the kindness people from lower classes had shown her. she did not reply. They finished breakfast and stood to leave. John left a small tip for the waitress. A pretty young girl named Ann. Rose made her way back up to her room while John stayed talking to the waitress.  
  
A few minutes later Rose heard a knock at the door. It was John. "Rose, I asked that waitress at breakfast whether she knew of the Dawson residence. She said she did and told me where it is. I can take you there if you like?" he offered.  
  
Rose nodded. "Yes, let me just get my suitcase."  
  
~*~  
  
The Dawson residence was at the end of a small lane surrounded by fields. The two stood at the gate. "Do you want to go alone?" John asked.  
  
Rose nodded. "Yes. Thank you so much John. For everything you have done. You are so much like Jack in your kindness. I am truly very fortunate to have you as a friend."  
  
"You are most welcome me dear. Now if you need anything I'll be at the Inn. If I'm not ask for Ann the waitress. I'll be out looking for work most probably. Good luck. I think that Ann said that Jack's sister lives there now."  
  
"But Jack said he had no living relatives." Said Rose.  
  
John shrugged. "See you later." With that he walked away back down the path.  
  
Rose took a deep breath and opened he gate. She walked down the small gavel path that led to the front door of an old farmhouse. So this is where Jack grew up? He was so lucky. She took another deep breath and reached to knock the door. A soft tap. The a little more forceful knock. She heard foot steps approach the door and braced herself. How was she going to tell Jack's sister that her brother was dead?  
  
The door opened. Rose dropped her suitcase.  
  
A/N Hehehehe. Cliffie! Please don't hate me! I'll try to get the next chapter up A.S.A.P!!!  
  
Luv Lolly pop 


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